The Spunky Cauldron
Sarcasm: One of My Many Talents Bath & Foot Soak
Are you one of those snarky asses that can’t say anything without it going a little sideways? Like you tried to join those mother's circles at the playdates, but every time you open your mouth pure unadulterated snark falls out. Last Thanksgiving your Mother claimed you were hopeless; you told her it was genetic. If this sounds like you, then join the club. The good news is this is a safe place where you can say as much eye rolling crazy ass shit as you want and no one will judge. Best yet, you can revel in your talents with this Grapefruit, Spearmint, Rosalina, scent that is tailored just for your spunky, self-righteous, condescending self.
Directions: After you fill up the tub, add in the amount of bath salts you want (just not the whole damn jar, okay?) and then just lay back and enjoy. For foot soak: add 2-3 tablespoons to water, insert feet, and relax. It's really that simple, don't try to overcomplicate this shit.
Ingredients: Epsom salts, Himalayan pink salts, apricot oil, vitamin e oil, and essential oils of steam distilled lime and lemon (don't want that shit to burn you in the sun).
Size: 8 oz jar
Caution: For external use only. Keep out of reach of children. May cause bath or shower floor to be slippery.
PS. If you need a toned down name, feel free to let me know in the special instruction box. I understand that not everyone may appreciate the dark humor or curse words.