The Spunky Cauldron
Sarcasm: One of My Many Talents Body Scrub
Are you one of those snarky asses that can’t say anything without it going a little sideways? Like you tried to join those mother's circles at the playdates, but every time you open your mouth pure unadulterated snark falls out. Last Thanksgiving your Mother claimed you were hopeless; you told her it was genetic. If this sounds like you, then join the club. The good news is this is a safe place where you can say as much eye rolling crazy ass shit as you want and no one will judge. Best yet, you can revel in your talents with this Grapefruit, Spearmint, Rosalina, scent that is tailored just for your spunky, self-righteous, condescending self.
Directions: You can use the wooden scoop provided or clean, dry hands to dish out a small amount and then rub it on your skin. If you want that shit to work the best, be sure to rub it in circular pattern for an exfoliating effect. Then when you are done just rinse off with water. Easy Peasy, lemon squeezy.
Ingredients: Sugar, apricot oil, vitamin e oil, and essential oils of lemon and lime (both steam distilled so no photo toxic effects!).
Cautions: No emulsifiers were used, so please stir before using. Only scoop out scrub with clean, dry hands or included wooden scoop. Avoid eyes and mucous membranes. For external use only. May irritate skin. Keep out of reach of children. May cause bath or shower floor to become slippery.
Size: 8 oz jar
PS. If you need a toned down name, feel free to let me know in the special instruction box. I understand that not everyone may appreciate the dark humor or curse words.