The Spunky Cauldron
I Drink Because You're Boring Body Scrub
So, maybe you’ve gotten a few too many of the side eye glances at the company Christmas party, but damn those fuckers are boring. You wouldn’t have to drink if they knew how to do anything besides sit around and dissect the latest boring ass episode of “Grey’s Anatomy” or some shit. But since there is an ultimatum this year and alcohol is not allowed, you can at least enjoy the fresh scent of a lemon and lime Midnight Margarita if you exfoliate with this wonderful lemon and lime infused body scrub. Just try not to get so desperate for some entertainment that you gnaw your arm off after putting this stuff on, okay?
Directions: You can use the wooden scoop provided or clean, dry hands to dish out a small amount and then rub it on your skin. If you want that shit to work the best, be sure to rub it in circular pattern for an exfoliating effect. Then when you are done just rinse off with water. Easy Peasy, lemon squeezy.
Ingredients: Sugar, apricot oil, vitamin e oil, and essential oils of lemon and lime (both steam distilled so no photo toxic effects!).
Cautions: No emulsifiers were used, so please stir before using. Only scoop out scrub with clean, dry hands or included wooden scoop. Avoid eyes and mucous membranes. For external use only. Keep out of reach of children. May cause bath or shower floor to become slippery.
Size: 8 oz jar