The Spunky Cauldron
You're Parking Deserves a Hex Body Scrub
We see you and your twisted ass parking. How is it not possible to fit that tiny car into the oversized space? If you are trying to prevent your car from dents, then you may succeed in that (even though we promise no one wants to key your fifteen year old Kia with half a bumper), but you won’t stop us from mumbling our way through a hex. The only thing that may help keep us from cursing you straight through to the hereafter is this grounding brew with blood orange, cedarwood, patchouli, and vanilla.
Directions: You can use the wooden scoop provided or clean, dry hands to dish out a small amount and then rub it on your skin. If you want that shit to work the best, be sure to rub it in circular pattern for an exfoliating effect. Then when you are done just rinse off with water. Easy Peasy, lemon squeezy.
Ingredients: Sugar, apricot oil, vitamin e oil, vanilla oleoresin/absolute, and essential oils of patchouli, cedar wood, and blood orange.
Cautions: No emulsifiers were used, so please stir before using. Only scoop out scrub with clean, dry hands or included wooden scoop. Avoid eyes and mucous membranes. For external use only. Keep out of reach of children. May cause bath or shower floor to become slippery.
Size: 8oz jar